Room for Love
Go ahead and say what you’ve been thinking; “This joker’s been hiding underneath a rock for a month, NOW he come’s back and expects us to read his blog.” Ok, ok, I deserve it, bring it on… I temporarily fled the scene without notice. I’m sorry my loyal followers.
A lot has been happening in life. I got engaged!!!!! I got into a couple of schools, I got wait listed at even more. AND I’ve made a decision of where I will be going to school next year. Before I reveal my choice I want to say it was an excruciatingly difficult decision to make, especially since with (at least one) of the options I walked away from offered a boatload of money that would have likely left me debt free :-(. Yet, I don’t regret it.
Enough about me for the moment and let’s talk a bit about anxiety. I’ve been trolling around other MBA blogs and forums a lot more recently, since I spent two weeks celebrating my engagement and therefore cut myself off from b-school world, and I’m noticing a fever pitch of anxiety and self-doubt out there. I’m not a sage and I don’t consider myself a psychologist but I do find it rather depressing when I read comments like, “I’m so discouraged, my GMAT is the bane of my existence, I’ll NEVER get into school with a 6xx. I just can’t go back to my job, this whole process has left me defeated.”
I’ll be the first to admit applying to grad school is an emotionally draining process (understatement) but we cannot get caught up in defining our self-worth with DINGS, DONGS and MAYBES. Sad as getting a ding was, it was an opportunity to take a step forward and appreciate the fact, there is a place out there for me but God is sending me a message that Stanford (or wherever) is not that place. Personally, I think Maybes are the worst. You go through the process to wait and wait and wait, and then you’re told… “we need you to wait some more”. When I broke it down to make some sense of it all I liken it to dating and relationships…
How many relationships that you’ve been in have been absolute “love at first sight”; it’s a rarity. Love usually takes time to develop, grow, nurture and appreciate over the long-term. Look at where you are with schools, is there a school that’s accepted you and you are kind of like them but are on fence, but in the end you know you would “settle” for them? That’s the strongest kind of love because it grows over time like an oak tree. Is there a school you’ve been waitlisted at that you really love, but they just ‘kinda’ like you? If so, work your ass off to show them how much you care. This is the most passionate and die-hard kind of love. Is there no school (yet) that has shown any love and you’re waiting in the wings for that a knight in shining armor to swoop you up like a damsel in distress? Think again, just like the example of unrequited love, you gotta show them you and them (your school of choice) are meant to be together.
Now all of this may sound a bit sophomoric and simplistic and it should. Why? Because at the core of any relationship are very few things:
1. Do you meet my criteria for who I would date?
2. Are you a good person, who is confident in yourself?
3. Do you actually love me and do you show it?
A lot of people contend getting into school is ‘a lottery’, ‘random’, ‘picking your number’ and for few schools we know that to be the case. Just like us as humans when we date, schools basically ask the same questions above – so I’m saying no, it’s not normally a lottery. I’m a big time believer that if you really really want someone you’re going to do everything you can (legally) to convince that person you are the ONLY choice. So I guess my advice is to lift your fingers off the keyboard, dust yourself off, vent on the forums (but please don’t whine) call your lover and tell them they are the only one for you.
Go get em’.