An Alternate Reality
I just wrapped up what will likely be my final performance review. I was expecting with the icy relationship between myself and my supervisor things would not go so well… but I was actually pleasantly surprised.
A bit of a back story: When I told my supervisor six months ago I was going back to school he was furious. He cycled through the coping process schizophrenically and to this day has refused to allow himself to let it fully sink in. Tensions got so bad that he told me point blank he would only write one recommendation… so far it’s the only school that has flat out rejected me.
Fast forward to today. After going through my accomplishments, work plan and critical feedback… he asks, “So what’s your plan?” “Dennis”, I said “July 31st is my last day.” He said, “How about July 12th?”, we worked out some other stuff and I agreed to it (fyi, Dennis is not his real name as well as other names I use in this blog for privacy purposes). He needs to save some money and I need to have health insurance through August. So I’m going to go to 50% time to keep my benefits until August 1, but as of July 12th I will no longer have a full-time job.
It sets in…
So now my alternate reality of not having a full-time job, not having a steady income and not having a regimented schedule is finally becoming real. In six months I’ll be unemployed. WOW. (I just took 60 seconds to re-read what I just wrote). Unemployed. No Money.
I’ve already begun to change my lifestyle. A lot less eating out, less partying, less non b-school related travel, no new clothes, etc. But now I have to actually start selling my possessions. Next week it begins… old laptop and digital camera: gone. Clothes I never wear; goodwill. Books, Craigslist and eBay. It’s amazing the stuff you accumulate just in a few years. But the time HAS in fact come. I’m going to school next year and while I thought I was mentally and emotionally prepared for it – I’m just getting started.
Yesterday, I posted about D-Week for Tuck. I’ve been doing my best to stay extra distracted from thinking about it by being ultra productive at work and outside of work. I’M SO TIRED RIGHT NOW. I didn’t realize how much my productivity at my day job had gone downhill. I was either on a permanent natural high or I’ve slid off a cliff in the past three months. My work stamina is in need of a P90X style workout. In any event, staying distracted has worked in keeping me calm for the most part. Although as things inch towards Friday I don’t know if I can keep it up.
Regardless of what happens, I do have something to look forward to for sure this week and that’s DAK (Day-at-Kellogg) for accepted students in Evanston. Looks like the weekend is chalk full of events as well… 7am – 11am on Friday & Sat, and more happy hours than I can count on two hands. Better pick-up some 5 hour energy and Red Bull before I head to Chi-town.