Shot Down From the Clouds
Yesterday was a record day for hits on my blog. I’m proud to report thesenator2014 has followers in almost 30 countries across all continents (except Antarctica). It felt pretty awesome revealing that I ended up at the perfect school for me. Keeping it all in perspective though… The journey is just beginning. Still pumped.
Sadly, I wasn’t able to fully enjoy the spoils because of the rough day I had at work. Easily one of the worst in recent memory. As many of you know I work in a challenging work environment. In summary, my supervisor is not at all supportive of my desire to go back to school and has essentially manifested his disapproval in every passive aggressive way humanly possible.
What Went Down:
Today, it all came to a head. In a single anger laced e-mail to our most important program partner he effectively killed over three years of hard work I put in to build our program to the point it’s at now. Never in my life had I witnessed something so dramatic and unprompted on a professional level. Our program partner was completely blindsided, and I myself didn’t find out until he (who I’m incidentally meeting this morning) forwarded the exchange and said in so many words, “Your boss offended us, this has nothing to do with you, but we’re pulling out.”
I’m devastated. For the past few months I’ve been working my tail off to make sure this work continues uninterrupted – this was a cold slap in the face – three years of blood, sweat and tears cycloning to disappearance in one flush. My supervisor still hasn’t been up front with what went down, and I’m not going to approach him about it – at the end of the day I can only control so much and I’ll do my best to mend what is likely and already broken relationship.
With the tomfoolery that went down I began to ask myself if I’m really cut out to be a manager? So much of what I’ve seen from leadership at my workplace is driven by politics. Performance is secondary. Even though my handle is “thesenator” I’m a horrible politician. My philosophy is much more about getting things done rather than getting the credit for it, because at the end of the day your work should do all the talking…
If I somehow can’t find that during and after grad school I’m worried. I don’t last long in environments where power struggles and ego jousting define success. Maybe my goal of expanding my small business or building a new one may be the only way I can keep myself from getting shot down from the clouds.